Top 10 signs you might be a Philosopher

You dropped cable TV a long time ago in favour of creating your own entertainment.
Sometimes you find it difficult to convince someone that they’re in over their head, when all explanations can’t help but go over their head.
You realize the best wisdom you got in school was never part of their planned curriculum.
You recognize the only difference between innovation and mutation might be scale.
You can feel your intelligence being sucked out of your brain every time you glint at a celebrity magazine cover.
You find yourself in the tiny minority of knowing almost nothing about the absolute realm.
You realize the trophy for the “Most Objective Philosopher” is a quintessentially posthumous award.
You recognize that fundamentalism leads to zombieism, and those that can’t see it, might be suffering from early onset.
You have a very wry sense of humour, which leads to public embarrassment at times when you find yourself laughing alone.
You never figured out how to turn it off.

“...but, why can’t I play in the Biggest Sandbox?”